I've been thinking a lot lately about intimacy, vulnerability and fear.
We live in a culture which elevates the monogamous heterosexual relationship. We all understand on some level that (at least culturally) having a romantic partner (of the unfortunately, opposite sex) gives us status. And, additionally, for many of us, we gain great comfort and pleasure from being in a relationship, having a partner.
But here's the thing, why do we seek closeness with the one person that will most likely not be a permanent fixture in our lives? We let our partners see us at our most vulnerable. They probably know us better than our family and even, our closest friends. And we are encouraged to be this way. We are encouraged to open ourselves up to a partner much more so than we are to our friends. Just look at the goal we are all supposed to be attaining-marriage. So we share more, we work through the fear, we push ourselves to be completely intimate with our partners in a way that does not compare to our friendships or family. And yet, how often do we break up with our friends or family?
I'm not advocating lessening intimacy and vulnerability with partners, but rather questioning why we don't award closeness with friends and family. I think most of us don't get as close to even our closest friends as we do to our partners. We're told we don't have to. Curious considering that we're probably much less likely to be hurt by them.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I definitely enjoy the intimacy I get with you and the ladies. In fact, I think in some ways I'm more comfortable being vulnerable with you guys than I let myself be with an intimate partner (although this is something I'm working on, especially to counteract unhealthy past relationships).
I loved being able to call you up, or come home to Erica, and just cry and be held without worrying about explaining myself or being judged. I miss that a lot.
i think you're right--the pressure placed on just the one person is overwhelming, for both parties, and seems odd when we have so much love from all the special people in our lives.
and i like this advocacy for best friends, cause really, that kind of intimacy is amazing. speechless.
Post a Comment